ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
