You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
