capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
