The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
