Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
