# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
