I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
