He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
