Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
