It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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