the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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