all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
