my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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