I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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