Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
