I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize