we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so let's talk penis.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
