Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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