you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
