come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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