i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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