She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
