I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
