Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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