As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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