Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
