just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
