your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
