i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
