Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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