my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize