cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
My feet surprised me
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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