Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Randomize
