Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Don't EVER smell your tampon
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
