why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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