so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
