Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize