sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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