the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
