Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize