i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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