But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize