Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
