Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
How does one acquire holy water?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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