I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize