I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize