why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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