I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just gift wrapped bread.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
