It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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