I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
