my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize