I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
