Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
