Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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