Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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