I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize