Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize