maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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