weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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