Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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