Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
