I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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