Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
