We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
