it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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