I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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