had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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