I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
