the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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