I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Where is the hickey?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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