Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he was CRYING into my vagina
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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