WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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