Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
