I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
