I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize