after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
