Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
And then my night got REAL pukey
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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