i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
