some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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