I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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