Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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