belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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