You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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