I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He shit in the fireplace
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize